I’m not a very religious person. Well, I’m not really religious at all. But I’m not an athiest, I’m agnostic. Athiesm is the belief that there is no god (used here synonymously with diety), specifically that – that one does NOT exist. Agnostic is saying that there’s no way to know anything, whether there is a god or not, or whether any belief is right or wrong.
I don’t fucking know, and neither do any of you.
At best we have a guess of what happens in the worlds we can’t see, and at worst… well, we have a bad guess. I believe in karma. Not necessarily any spiritually tied form of it, but that one does get what they deserve, although they may not know what they deserve (hint: they don’t). This doesn’t explain everything, of course. I’m partial to the chaos theory that everything is random, but I also think that there is more at play than we realize.
The butterfly effect for example is a great idea, part of the chaos theory I think – I don’t feel like looking it up honestly. But the idea that one small action in one part of the world could set into motion something terrible in a completely separate part of the world.
Not to that extreme though – that’s just stupid. But I think it’s somewhere between that and “what goes around comes around” sense of karma that doing good will have good done unto you. As sad as it sounds I think something like Dungeons and Dragons has it figured out, that we have some certain benefits based on our individual skills – and those skills can lead to an innate 100% success rate on certain tasks, but that majority of other tasks rely on random chance weighted by our skills. Sure, you have a 99% chance of picking up that jar of pickles – but you rolled a nat 1 and it fell to the ground.
I know it’s not really that random. It’s all based off several series of events that won’t even end at that scenario or with that person. That’s the chaos theory part. Tommy didn’t want to listen to his mom and wash his hands after breakfast – so they have butter on them, and all over his face. Tommy and his mom go to the store and Tommy sees the pickles. Tommy loves pickles. So he wants to show mommy, but his hands are so buttery he can’t pick it up. Tommy is a kid, after all. Ha, I just realized – Tommy Pickles, like Rugrats! So then Tommy gets called by his mom down the aisle and he forgets all about the pickles. Then you come along. You’re used to picking up pickle jars with one hand, it’s easy for an adult like you. But your grip slips because of Tommy’s butter, and the pickle jar falls to the ground. It wasn’t a ton of butter, but it was JUST enough to make you drop that jar. Point of that story? Tommy’s mom should have been paying attention to her child and had him wash his damned hands.
So where is this in my belief? Well it’s just part of it, the other part I don’t want to explain because it makes me sound crazy. And maybe I am, but I’ll keep that part to myself.
Back to this part… I guess the point is that my belief is pretty simple. I don’t know if there is a god or not, nor do I rightly care. If there is a god why should I live my life for him to help my fellow beings when I can just help them myself? I don’t care if there is an afterlife, and that scares some people. I don’t care where I end up when I die, I’ll deal with that when I die. Right now I want to care about other people. And animals, I love animals. I don’t care where I end up when I die because I know I’m making a positive influence while I’m alive. If there is a heaven or a hell, then I’ll end up where I belong. And if I belong in hell then I will just be happy for the people I helped along the way and take my punishment.
Maybe I don’t believe in god, but I do believe that there is some force that is holding things in line. At least I like to think so, but I can never really convince myself it’s true. I don’t think there’s anything more than us, I think it’s really just us. And I think we are the most advanced beings around for a long way. Someone needs to be on top, and why can’t it be us? We have problems, but honestly – look at this, I’m typing away at rainbow colored keys to put text onto a computer that I don’t even know where it rests, and I’m listening to music that was made hundreds of years ago (Classical) and an odd mix of Taco Bell commercials. I have something sitting in front of me that fits in my pocket and yet I can use it to watch near live footage of the weather above me nearly anywhere in the world. I can send a message across the planet in milliseconds. We live in a world where SECONDS is a long time! The cavemen were living by the day – probably something incremental of hours as a standard of time, and yet now we have such precision that seconds matter. 100 years ago it would take weeks to get a message across the ocean and right now because of things like the stock exchange it is down to milliseconds, and I don’t mean 100’s of milliseconds, but just milliseconds. Just a few. An entire ocean in milliseconds, and yet we can’t be advanced enough?
I digress. I guess it brings up my point though that people are both God and Satan rolled into one. We have heaven and hell and everything in between. Those stories weren’t the afterlife, it was about our own world based on those actions. I have an oddly high amount of good things happen. Small things, like bonuses at a restaurant or a store, getting something extra without asking (or sometimes with asking). And I could say it’s karma, because of the good I’ve done and happiness I’ve brought, or that I’ve done my deeds in church and I’ve earned my reward. Or I can could say I was just being happy and smiling to someone that had a rough day, and having one nice customer was something to brighten things up for them. When I see a cashier that is in a bad mood – I try to be a little extra friendly, not overboard, but enough to make them not hate the world. I don’t do it for a reward, but I do it because I like to see people smile. And sometimes it benefits me, but that’s a perk, not why I do it.
In essence it’s karma to me. Because if you are nice to enough people, nice things start happening to you. Have you ever been at work and had someone nice come though and just wanted to help them out? Maybe scan a 20% discount coupon they didn’t have, or something of the sort? Why not try to be that person. Not the one that is nice enough that they get discounts, but someone that is just genuinely nice. Because even if you didn’t scan that 20% coupon, you still felt better when they left. Be that person.